Singapore and I

School says
Conform
Socks above your ankles, skirts no higher than four fingers above the knee
Short hair must not touch the collar, or hair must be neatly tied up
Name tag visible at all times
Shirts tucked in
Don’t ask questions
Study the textbook, not the subject
You are here to score good grades
(At any and all costs)
You are a number
And you are not enough
Don’t ask questions
Memorize!
Force it!
Work harder!
Don’t make mistakes
Don’t speak up
Don’t think for yourself
Don’t ask, why you are in school
Don’t ask, what’s the point
Don’t ask questions

The government says
Conform!
We stand for meritocracy
Don’t be lazy
Work harder
With hard work, you can achieve anything
Hard work, at any and all costs
We did it then, so can you too!
Family values, asian values
If you work hard enough, you find a balance
If you work hard enough, you can achieve
If you work hard enough, you can be happy
Tired? Suck it up!
Depressed? You don’t want it badly enough!
Keep going
Keep going
Keep going
Keep going
Keep going
Don’t think, don’t question, don’t speak up
Maybe one day you’ll have all you want
Maybe one day you’ll have enough money
Maybe one day you’ll have energy
Maybe one day you’ll have time
Maybe one day you’ll have your life

Society says
Conform!
It’s a rat race
Onwards, majulah!
More, and faster, and more, and faster
Aspire!
Let’s compare:
Am I better, or are you?
Get in line, or else
Penalties, not empathy
(Without realising that we are all products of our system)

My mother says
Conform!
I have to be ladylike (or people will judge me)
I have to be clean and tidy (or people will judge me)
I have to smile at my neighbours (or people will judge me)
I have to greet them loud and clear (or people will judge me)
I have to respect old people (just because they are older) (or people will judge me)
I have to be grateful (or people will judge me)
I have to be humble (or people will judge me)
“Don’t be arrogant”

I say
I just want to be myself
I want to be allowed to be how I am
I want to grow freely
I want to surprise myself
I want to laugh
I want to slow down and observe
And cherish beauty around me
I want to align myself with passing time and watch it go by
I want to live my life!
I want to love, I want to love life
I want to dare, I want to follow my curiosity
I want to fall, I want to fail
I want to experience the world, its sorrow and pain and grief
And its joy and humour and hope
I want to learn
And I want to make, I want to create